You Already Have Everything You Need
It was around the New Year I started thinking about this concept really deeply, that we all have everything we need to do life internally. We all have the wisdom, intuition, physical, emotional and spiritual wherewithal to thrive through our lives while lifting up everyone we meet along the way.
I’ve always thought it was true on a surface level, and the long nights and short days of late December and early January pulled me into the depths of the issue, namely because of an escalating questionable behavior: drinking. Mind you, I’ve never driven drunk, I’ve never blacked out, danced on a tabletop, woken up somewhere unfamiliar, gone to work blasted, or put myself or anyone in undue danger.
But even without these obvious red-flag type moments there may come a moment, say while rushing to from a closed liquor store to one that’s closing within 20 minutes that the issue becomes fairly unavoidable. Willing red light to turn, I wondered to myself “What are you even doing? You don’t need alcohol… This is an optional thing… Really, Katherine?! Why are you wasting your time and money on this nonesense?”
To which my body replied with a clenched gut and the crushing anxiety that if I didn’t make it to that store, if I didn’t get those ingredients for those Pinterest cocktails, that I just would not make it through to the New Year in one piece. I needed that booze more than my brain could tell me how absurd the rest of me was being.
Ah, okay. So that’s what we’re up to.
After observing that moment, and after a week from Christmas to New Years drinking picture perfect Pinterest cocktails, the thought boomed loud in my mind: “If it’s true that I already have everything I need to do life, I shouldn’t need any substances… none at all. I can’t believe that we all have everything we need within if I can’t live it out in practice…”
It’s worth mentioning here the other substances on the daily docket: a (hefty) nightly dose of sleepy-time gummies, and a morning pot of coffee to compensate for the grogginess of drinking and taking sleepy-time gummies. All substances, 100% socially acceptable and sanctioned, even.
But still, the thoughts nagged. “Surely, my body ought to be wise enough to manage to get to sleep and wake up at times that are best for it, no?”
Consider your own story as you’re reading… perhaps you drink, perhaps not. Perhaps you take supplements to sleep, or wake, or think, or __________. Perhaps not. Maybe food is your drug of choice, or shopping… You know how to fill in your own blank.
What are the crutches that let you hobble through the day and keep you from your brilliance?
Here’s what happened after that holiday week for me:
January 2nd I had my last drink … 93 days sober as of this writing (yay!).
A few weeks into January I fell headlong into the glorious abyss of Human Design, learning to sort out who exactly I am, gaining in the process the skills and knowledge to do the same for my clients.
I’ve had nothing stronger than chamomile tea for sleep since February 1.
My last cup of coffee was on February 14.
And then I started exercising regularly again on February 16…
And after that, I started weight lifting a month later on March 15…
In letting go of those things that allowed me to hobble through my days, what has followed is an ongoing exploration of figuring out what actually do my body, mind, and spirit already have?
And from there, an inquiry of what’s needed, moment by moment, to ensure I’m able to nourish and take care of myself on every level.
I’m privy to the unfolding of my own psyche and spirit in a way I’ve not been before.
Meanwhile, YOUR soul (YOU!) came to this planet for a reason, and, as Jenna Zoe at My Human Design says, it brought not one thing less or one thing more than it needed to fulfill its mission. And, more than that, you get to be privy to what it means to be the glory that is 100% unabashed YOU! The beauty of this is you don’t even need to go looking for anything. There’s no book, course, Instagram profile, website, person, group… there’s absolutely NOTHING outside of yourself you need to consult to experience the freedom of learning to be precisely who you’re designed to be.
You don’t need to kick away your crutches all in one go… if those things are truly what’s allowing you to scrape by day to day, by all means, do what makes sense for you.
And, at the same time, sharpen your skills of self-observation:
When do you feel a twinge of guilt about your behavior?
When are you rationalizing your behavior?
What habits are you hiding? Why?
What are those habits you just really would like to change finally? Why?
Where are you plugging gaps in your feelings of insecurity? Why? What happens if those gaps remain and are witnessed?
Where do you most doubt your greatness? What does it mean if you really are that great after all?
When does that inner naggy, nasty self-critical voice kick up?
When do you feel most well, most at ease, most yourself?
The answers to these questions provide information that is pure gold when it comes to learning to stand on your own two feet and the innate wisdom of your own divinity. As you answer, you can start to discern what those things are that you can start to let go of so that your own soul can hold you up. Not only hold you up, but give you the strength to walk, run, jump, fly.
The air’s fine, if you want to join!
Here are a few more ideas to get you moving in that direction:
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